Taryn- Ethnicity/ Culture (Post #1)

In my favorite photo of me and my mom my hair is crazy- its mixture of black and dark brown alternating “z” and “s” shaped coils are only beginning to grow in to open space, not yet needing to be tamed by a comb, brush, or loathsome hair grease. In the photo, I am not yet aware of it or how to treat it- it doesn’t frustrate me, keep me up at night, or cause tears to flow that soak the towel I place around my neck after a weekly wash; it’s simply healthy, soft, free, and new.

I idealize the hair of my early childhood and I think while this shows a need to continue to grow in comfortability with my “adult” head of hair, my idealization of my childhood looks is justifiable. At age 11, my mom let me relax my hair and the chemical process left my hair naturally straight, dull, and lifeless. Though I no longer had to spend hours on a Sunday afternoon between my mother's legs while she blow-dried, moisturized, parter, and plaited my nappy curls into a masterpiece, the ultimate price I paid for conventionally pretty “straight” hair and saved time was hair thinning and hair loss. Before I turned 13, my hair became a shadow of its former self,and to revive it I had to cut it off and start over.

When I went to the hair salon, I cried as soon as the scissors began to clip my relaxed ends. Losing so much of my hair at one time was traumatic, but it was a necessary step in learning to appreciate and care for my hair. Slowly, it began to grow back and now it is currently begging to flourish.

As time goes on, I am slowly beginning to make peace with my kinky texture of z and s shaped spirals that sometimes refuse to bend to the will of styling tools. I have learned so much about caring for my hair including its texture classification (in between 4B and 4C) and which products make it soft and healthy (for me, coconut oil is a definite no!). I will probably never relax my hair again- it flourishes best in its natural state and is a reminder of my rich cultural heritage.